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introduction
biography  ♥ God's child, FLO! Diagnosed with hyperactive disease :D Cause I'm only gonna break your heart Lucky, I'm in love with my best friend. I love stalkers: Email/ Facebook/ Twitter/ Tumblr chatterbox
your voice was all i heard
whisper love, ♥ i'm leaving
never looking back again link time machine
walk down memory lane flashbacks
reminiscence take a bow
how about a round of applause
Layout: NicoleInspiration: I ; II Color codes: Color Codes Icon: Icon |
Time to get things right.
Sunday, October 31, 2010 @ 12:43 AM Mood: Troubled? Music: Here I am - Planetshakers I've got to clear this. First of all. I did not accept Christ because of Alan. In fact, it's just after I accepted Christ that I found Alan was in the same church as me. It was pure coincidence, perhaps God's work. We won't know. Second of all. I chose Christ cause I realized no one took the step of faith to show me how mighty this Lord is. James and Priscella did. My Lord is so mighty and He loves me so dearly and He never calls me names. He encourages me when I'm on the verge of giving up, talks to me, listens to me like a friend. He was there when all of you turned away from me. Third of all. Why Estella. Cause I want it to be part of my name. I may dislike my original name but I never said I was removing my original name. And at this point, I'm okay with Hema as well. So you can call me Estella or Hema or whatsoever okay. Fourth of all. I'm sorry if I stopped contacting you or whatsoever. Toxic friends, I rather not have. And I am really going to focus on God, studies and my relationship with parents and Alan. Sometimes too much is not good and I'm not benefitting from all this. Cause every single time I talk about God, you persecute me. You say hurtful things about my boyfriend and all. It is pure jealousy, I know. I love my God and this is who I am. Face it. Love me for who I am or hate me. It's really that simple. I tried sharing gospel with you but you are so stubborn and hurtful. So forget it. I will not let others be deprived of the salvation they deserve. If I lose friends, its not really so bad cause God will be pleased that I am trying to change myself for the better and at the same time glorifying Him with my actions. @ 12:08 AM Mood: (: Music: (: I realized I don't know what I want to do with my life. Rather lost. I'm waiting for God to pick me up. I'm that lazy. Should I switch to PCS or ECH. Am I regretting now? Should I have taken Psychology like what my parents wanted me to? I am very lost right now. MAD PISSSEDOZXSSZXZS
Tuesday, October 26, 2010 @ 4:43 PM Mood: Mad pissed Music: - God. I just need a super high level of tolerance against her. First lesson for WritComm and she's so nasty. Things about her being anal and all, it's just so true. I know I'm supposed to like this module cause writing is what I prefer, but still ?! It's like a bomb thrown without warning. Okay I'm talking rubbish. Who throws a bomb with warning -.- Ah, school. Keep the positivity Estee, keep it. Day 1, Semester 5050
Monday, October 25, 2010 @ 10:19 PM Mood: Excited! :D Music: - So its back to school. Heavy backpack, climb the hill. Curse the weather. Long boring lessons... TOTALLY NOT. I didn't even complain a crap about school today. I know, miracle right. Semester 1.2 is just so awesome somehow. Don't you just love school? (: P.S: I'm a pretty lazy ass still, but I didn't complain much okay. I'm a freaking bitch.
Friday, October 22, 2010 @ 1:48 AM Mood: Screwed up Music: Mad - Ne-yo I truly love you and I know I'm going to hate myself if that's going to happen. I'll live up to the promise I made. I'm serious. I don't want either of us to look back and regret. Yeah, tonight I'm going to bed, being mad at you. I don't know why exactly :/ Thrown offboard.
Thursday, October 21, 2010 @ 1:39 AM Mood: What could be worst than this? Music: Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson Seems like just yesterday You were a part of me I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight Everything, it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong Now I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I told you everything Opened up and let you in You made me feel alright For once in my life Now all that's left of me Is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside 'Cause I can't breathe No, I can't sleep I'm barely hangin' on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Swallow me then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you it kills me now No, I don't cry on the outside Anymore... Anymore... Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces Can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes Hi, I'm the Doctor D:
Monday, October 11, 2010 @ 10:49 AM Mood: AWFULLY SCARED. Music: Officially Missing You - Tania So here I am waiting for my appointment. And I'm gonna die anytime cause I'm all alone. And its some prick test. Let me tell you, I CANNOT SEE NEEDLE NEAR MY SKIN. I'll freaking faint and prolly die. And its double appointment today okay. I go for the test.. Wait for the results in vain like a loser all alone and then listen to it all by myself. I'm just a stupid baby. But really, seeing it all, I get really scared. I wish I had baby's jacket with me to hold for now :/ My God.
Sunday, October 10, 2010 @ 1:47 AM Mood: - Music: - God has never spoken to me so much before. All in one day. I really am blessed with everything right now. Though problems are the only thing left. |